My Top 11 Songs of 2011 (In Which I Welcome Back Avril and Britney)

Another year, another metric ton of junk from Rihanna. Chicago lost its last remaining alternative-rock station, Amy Winehouse succumbed to the age-27 curse, and R.E.M. called it quits. And yet I, ever the grumpy old curmudgeon regarding today’s music, found eleven songs to which I could tap my foot. See how many of them you agree with, hmmm?

1. Tonight Tonight, Hot Chelle Rae

Poppy, infectious, and effervescent, this was the song of the summer. But it’s not quite as upbeat as it sounds if you dig into the lyrics – ‘I don’t know if I’ll make it, but watch how good I’ll fake it.’ He’s overcompensating, folks, after a ‘really, really messed up week.’ Shows how far a major key and a catchy hook can take you. And the tongue-in-cheek lyrics are part of the reason why this ditty tops my list and pure good-time garbage such as anything by LMFAO didn’t hit my radar in any positive sense. (Side note: could LMFAO have a stupider name? Way to demonstrate that you want to have staying power. Idiots.)

2. What the Hell, Avril Lavigne

Remember in 2007 when Avril Lavigne reappeared with the catchy-as-hell ‘Girlfriend’ and everyone was all, ‘What? She’s back?’ Well, it happened again. Hiatus. New single out of nowhere (this time with a Max Martin intervention). Catchy as hell. And replete with, as is her way, a smidgen of attitude. The scale progression in the pre-chorus (“…on your knees, begging please…”) is my favorite part. This is a karaoke white whale I will never be able to achieve. Who knew Avril had such range?

3. Til the World Ends, Britney Spears

It’s Britney, bitch. And she emerged arguably almost better than ever in the spring of 2011. Once again, helped along by pop-music wunderkind Max Martin (who incidentally was behind ‘Baby … One More Time,’ ‘(You Drive Me) Crazy,’ ‘Oops…’ ‘3,’ ‘If U Seek Amy,’ and more), Miss Brit had the catchiest chorus of the summer until Hot Chelle Rae came along. She loses a couple of points for succumbing to the stale ‘dancing despite the approaching apocalypse’ theme but we’ll just ignore the lyrics and, you know, dance despite the approaching apocalypse.

4. I Wanna Meet Dave Grohl, The Wavves

Whoa, this one is so underground, it doesn’t even have an ‘official’ video! Like many Saturday Night Live skits, this song is just about 90 seconds too long. But before the monotony sets in, it’s an uplifting power-pop ode to a certain Foo-Fighting, grunge-to-the-masses-bringing gentleman. Wonder if they ever got their wish.

5. Glad You Came, The Wanted

I imagine this danceable track is kind of like what would have happened if Oasis had ever teamed up with the repeatedly aforementioned Max Martin. Near-perfect British pop. You’ll be glad you listened.

6. Born This Way, Lady Gaga

That attention-hungry fame monster (!), I initially thought when this single ‘dropped.’ It’s an absolute rip-off of ‘Express Yourself,’ and Lady Gaga is NO Madonna (to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen). But then I grew to realize … ‘Born This Way’ — with its energy and its empowering lyrics — is BETTER than ‘Express Yourself,’ and while Gaga certainly won’t have the legacy that Madonna did and does, she does have better pipes. And I’d bet Ms. Ciccone would say the same.

7. Something to Believe In, Parachute

Okay, this ‘adult-alternative’ pop-rock hit from has faint twinges of Christian rock, but sometimes that’s okay, especially if it’s a jam that inspires. Plus, the guys met at UVa.

8. Changing, The Airborne Toxic Event

This song sounds like it was written for an Apple commercial, which is to say it is memorable, approachable indie rock. And it strangely wasn’t in an Apple commercial that I can recall (though Google tells me it was in a trailer for Crazy Stupid Love). The guys seem a lot more cheerful than their last big hit, which had even the world’s cutters begging them to cheer up already.

9. Down By the Water, The Decemberists

A new song with an old-timey feel, which is probably due to the harmonica and the tight harmonies. It’s CSNY for the 21st century. Any ‘new’ song I can share with my parents is typically a winner for me, and there hasn’t been a decent one (that they hadn’t already heard in an Apple commercial) since ‘Float On.’

10. Super Bass, Nicki Minaj

Yeah, the supremely self-referential Nicki is a tad annoying and I wish her rapping vocals came in a few notes lower down the scale. Slightly less chipmunky. But she can spit rhyme with the best of them (‘best of them’ = Eminem) and the chorus is unforgettable and groove-tastic.

11. Bad – The CAB

For some reason, it annoys me that this group capitalizes their name. Who do they think they are, DAUGHTRY? This song wasn’t the best of the year, but it has a taste of boy-band catchy pop flavor with a chewy power pop center. Would be interested in hearing more from these guys as their sound (hopefully) matures.

Honorable mention 1: Friday, Rebecca Black

I admit, this is a demonstration of everything that is wrong with American music today. Lyrics so simple they border on nonsensical. Criminal levels of autotuning. The repeated use of ‘party’ in different parts of speech. But damn, did it make me smile. And ultimately, it’s a good 15-minutes-of-fame story. At least Rebecca’s original was better than the horrendous Glee version. What the eff happened to Glee, by the way? What an appalling fall off a cliff.

Honorable mention 2: ‘Blue Tip,’ The Cars

The Cars released Move Like This this year – their first studio album in 24 years. This track-one cut was the best on the album and yet … it wasn’t very good. Still have to give Ric and the boys an A for effort. At least they are getting back out there.

And that … is it. Here’s to catchier pop, more interesting alt-rock, and the reemergence of late-90s favorites (who aren’t Enrique Iglesias) in 2012. Harvey Danger, I’m waiting for YOU.

Friday Lyric Quiz, 441 (In Which I Become Disturbia’d)

This week in music news, Rihanna continued to take her rightful place in the music record books.  “We Found Love,” some song I’ve never heard of, became her 11th number-one hit.  She blew past the likes of Stevie Wonder and Janet Jackson and is nipping at the heels of Billboard chart goddesses Whitney and Madonna (tied with Whitney, two away from the Material Girl).  A few of her songs feature other artists, but I guess that’s nobody’s business when it comes to the charting, just when it comes to the royalties.

I have to ask …  really? At the risk of being singled out and targeted by Jay-Z, I feel she is part of what’s wrong with music today (the other part that’s wrong?  Nickelback). With one or two notable exceptions, her singles are uninspired, monotonous, and unmemorable. Is “Only Girl (in the World)” really better than “Rhythm Nation?” Can “Take a Bow” hold a candle to “Like a Prayer?”  Or will “S&M” have the staying power of “Superstition?” These questions, by the way?  Are rhetorical.

Here are her 11 number-one hits.  Wonder how many the next generation will be able to hum: S.O.S; Umbrella; Disturbia; Only Girl (In the World); Take a Bow; Live Your Life; Love the Way You Lie; Rude Boy; What’s My Name; S&M; We Found Love.

Enjoy today’s lyric quiz, which features 10 random songs, all of which have a life beyond the immediate present.

In closing, get off my lawn!

Friday Lyric Quiz #441

1.  “Who’s got their claws in you, my friend, into your heart, I’ll beat again” (mid-90s)

2.  “All I want is to see you smile, if it takes just a little while” (late 70s)

3.  “Anything that’s dead shall be regrown and your vicious pain, your warning sign, it will be fine” (mid-2000s)

4. “You wanna hear about my new obsession, I’m riding high upon a deep depression” (mid-90s)

5. “I’d hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain” (late 80s)

6. “When you’re happy like a fool, let it take you over. When everything is out, you gotta take it in” (early 2010s)

7. “Well, you started off with nothing and you’re proud that you’re a self-made man” (early 70s)

8. “To have you with me I would swim the seven seas I need you as my guide in my life” (late 80s)

9. “If you are the desert, I’ll be the sea, if you ever hunger, hunger for me” (late 80s)

10. “Seems the road less traveled, shows happiness unraveled” (late 90s)

Answers to Friday Lyric Quiz #440

1.  “The world is a vampire, sent to drain. Secret destroyers” (mid-90s)
Bullet With Butterfly Wings, Smashing Pumpkins

2.  “You say Lord, I say Christ. I don’t believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman” (late 70s)
Bicycle Race, Queen

3.  “And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams” (early 2000s)
Harder to Breathe, Maroon 5 

4. “You stumble out of a hole in the ground. A vampire or a victim it depends on who’s around” (early 90s)
Stay (Faraway, So Close!), U2

5. “They’re out to get you, there’s demons closing in on every side” (mid-80s)
Thriller, Michael Jackson

6. “And yes I call the shots I am the umpire I sprinkle holy water upon a vampire, vampire” (early 2010s)
Moment 4 Life, Nicki Minaj feat Drake

7. “A disease of the mind it can control you, I feel like a monster” (late 2000s)
Disturbia, Rihanna 

8. “And the violence caused such silence, who are we mistaken” (mid-90s)
Zombie, The Cranberries 

9. “I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vics” (late 70s)
Werewolves in London, Warren Zevon 

10. “The zombies were having fun, the party had just begun” (early 60s)
Monster Mash, Bobby Boris Pickett